How do we get our Identity?
Ever wondered where the heck your identity comes from? Is it something you whip up yourself, or is it a byproduct of the society we find ourselves in? Well, let me tell you, the first folks who introduced me to my own identity were none other than my family. Like everyone else. They were like, “Here’s a name for you, and by the way, this is where you hail from!” They even threw in some religion and caste knowledge, just to spice things up. And then, like a dramatic plot twist, school and society barged in and were like, “You’re an Indian, buddy! Wave that flag high and be ready to die for your country!” But hey, as you grow older, your curiosity takes the wheel, and you start questioning everything. I’m talking about uncovering the layers of truth like you’re peeling off the layers of onion.
Who am I?
Imagine you reach a point in life where you start scratching your head and asking some serious questions. That is, of course, if you’re the type who can’t resist poking around and peeling back layers like you’re dealing with a metaphorical onion. Suddenly, you start wondering, “Am I really the person my parents, society, and those fancy institutions molded me to be? Or am I someone entirely different?” Maybe I’m that humble neighborhood shopkeeper, crunching numbers every night to calculate my profits and losses. Or perhaps I’m the fearless warrior type, itching to join the army and become the embodiment of protection and heroism. Maybe I’m just a regular job holder, spending my days grinding away for some government or private organization, accumulating wealth, and drowning in those dreaded EMIs. Oh, and let’s not forget the politicians! The charming netas who go door-to-door, charming folks for their precious votes. Or Maybe those local bullies? In the world I grew up in, they were practically idolized as an accomplished achiever. Flashy cars, an entourage of bodyguards, and properties sprouting up like mushrooms all over the country or even abroad. Talk about identity, right?
The illusory Facade
When it comes to shaping your identity, books can be a double-edged sword. Imagine reading a handful of books and then abruptly stopping—danger zone, my friend. Or worse, getting fixated on a single author and treating their words as gospel. Suddenly, your understanding of life and the world becomes as limited as a toddler’s vocabulary, and you cling to that identity like a child clings to their mama. Most of us don’t even realize we’re stuck in this trap, happily accepting the identities society slaps on us. Let’s take the example of the ultimate fanboy. You know, the guy who worships some actor, sportsman, or politician so intensely that it becomes his whole identity. We’ve all been there, especially when we were young and impressionable. I mean, I plastered my room with posters of those superstar idols, and every word that came out of my mouth revolved around them. It was like I had become their honorary spokesperson, whether they knew it or not.
Losing Identity; A death sentence?
Do you know what’s funny? In all my encounters outside of the fictional realms of movies and books, I’ve never met someone who boldly proclaims, “I’m going to rename myself and craft my identity exactly the way I want!” Nope, not a soul. Not even the one who is writing this. And you wanna know why? Fear, my friend, fear. There’s this sneaky little fear that creeps in when you even think about going against the grain. It’s the fear of losing your tribe, your people—the ones who will give you a side-eye and ask, “Who the heck do you think you are?!” In the book Atomic Habits, James Clear wrote, “Humans are herd animals. We want to fit in, bond with others, and earn the respect and approval of our peers. Such inclinations are essential to our survival. For most of our evolutionary history, our ancestors lived in tribes. Becoming separated from the tribe—or worse, being cast out—was a death sentence.” So, we stick to the tried and tested, following the norms and regulations we were born into and maintaining the status quo. After all, who needs the drama of challenging the norm when Netflix has a new season to binge-watch?
My Tribe, My Pride: The End
We all have our little cliques, don’t we? It’s like finding your squad where everyone’s just like you. Even the holiest of holy folks, like the saints and sages, had their tribes. Just look at Buddha, Jesus, and Adi Shankaracharya—they renounced the world but couldn’t resist creating their tribes. Buddha got his followers, Jesus had his crew, and Shankaracharya gathered his followers too. Once you join a tribe, there’s no turning back. You become a fierce defender, ready to throw down if anyone messes with your people. Heck, even Hitler had his twisted tribe, a bunch of like-minded folks who thought they were superior. People get so hooked on tribal values, they often forget about their own. Take a look around, my friend, and you’ll see tribes everywhere you go. Writers with their ink-stained tribe, athletes with their sweat-soaked posse, businessmen and job holders with their power suits, extremists and socialists with their passionate followings. Shoot, even the Kitty Party gang, and the die-hard daily soap watchers have their tribes. And let me tell you, we wear our tribe’s badge with pride.
Desired Identity vs Your Authentic Self
Shakespeare wisely stated, “We know what we are, but not what we MAY be.“ It is essential to note that Shakespeare did not mention our desires or what we WANT to be. Instead, he emphasized the uncertainty of what we MAY become. This distinction is crucial in understanding our true potential. Often, our desires are influenced by societal pressures and the pursuit of immediate gratification, leading us away from our authentic selves and hindering the exploration of our genuine potential. Now, let me share a little something about myself. I’ve had countless desires and aspirations, but it wasn’t until I dove into those glorious books that I realized it’s not just about daydreaming about your ideal identity. It’s about taking action, my friend. It’s about doing what you truly WANT, right now, in this very moment so that you MIGHT reach your full potential in the unseen and unknown future.
Embracing Personal Growth
Sometimes, you’ve gotta venture beyond the confines of your tribe-assigned identity. Maybe it’s meeting diverse people from all corners of the globe, immersing yourself in their cultures. Maybe it’s jetting off to unexplored lands and savoring tantalizing new dishes that your taste buds have never encountered. Or hey, maybe it’s as simple as doing your daily activities in a way that sets you apart from your tribe. But here’s the kicker: it only works if you’ve got that insatiable curiosity, that thirst for knowledge, that appetite for adventure. That’s when you can truly break free and become something refreshingly new and undeniably better.